How to wear jeans in a dark room

RTE 1.

The denim is so dark you can’t see through it 2.

It feels cold 3.

You feel like you’re being watched by a black person 4.

The colour is so vivid it’s impossible to see 5.

It’s so bright it makes you want to smash through a wall 6.

It looks like a big, fluffy snowflake 7.

The fabric feels soft, like it was washed by a hand washing machine 8.

You can’t feel your legs and feet 9.

The jeans are so uncomfortable 10.

The effect is to make you want a hug and a kiss 11.

You’re like, “You’re so cool.

I want to hug you.”

12.

You don’t want to touch the denim, you want the jeans to make your body feel better.

13.

You want to give it a hug.

14.

You think it’s going to burst.

15.

You are in a room with your best friend, but he’s also wearing jeans and he has a huge bag of weed.

16.

Your best friend is wearing jeans.

17.

The only thing you can think about is: “How are my legs and foot feeling?”

18.

Theres nothing you can do but hug him.

19.

He’s like, ‘It’s really hot.’

20.

He is like, “‘Oh yeah, I’m wearing jeans.’

What is wrong with you?”

21.

You look at him and you think, ‘This is so weird.’

22.

He tells you, ‘Well, that’s just the way I am.’